Little Comforter

I ended up with an iPhone folder of 128 screenshots. The folder entitled “Lilo Letters” is full of texts, direct messages, and letters like this one that a dear friend shared with me today. There have been difficult days. I hope to cultivate a beautiful space for all of these, to be able to see tangible signs of hope. Of life. Of Lilo, being her usual self.

I remember in the hospital she would hear other kids crying in the other rooms. Despite being there herself, she would say, “it’s okay baby, it’s okay”. She has always been a comforter. In utero, her kicks came at all the right times to help me carry through. As a newborn, her hugs brought a sense of calm. As a toddler, she was never bothered that I would shed tears here and there. She calmly offered her “doggy tissue” box, and was assured that feeling the big feelings is simply part of it. I’m grateful for you Lilo in every stage. I often wish you could still comfort me in person. I’ve never needed it more. But I’ve also seen over and over, that we’ve been able to share you and your gifts with others. I hold onto that joy.